Joke's On You
by fangirlxfantasies
Summary: Ever since he came out of the closet, Ted is always harassing Chris. Insulting him, telling gay jokes, and even went as far as to hit him! Can Chris find Ted's real reason for tormenting him? can he get him to stop? SLASH! Rare-pair! yay for Jeriase!


**Disclaimer: We do not own the WWE or any of their many sexy employees.**

_A/n from Kirbey: Here we go again. I wrote this one at 5 in the morning so please don't be too mean. _

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Chris looked up; there was Ted again walking with his gaggle of homophobic friends. Chris waved as he walked past. It couldn't hurt to try his usual approach of being nice to Ted.

Ted put on a big fake smile and wiggled his fingers at Jericho. "Hey Chris, how you doing girlfriend?" Ted asked in an extremely high pitched feminine voice. His gaggle of friends, consisting of John Morrison, The Miz and Cody Rhodes, laughed.

Chris sighed and turned away- he had been dealing with Ted's verbal abuse since he had come out of the closet. No one else seemed to have a problem with it until Ted decided it was sick, disgusting, and he didn't like it.

In the past few weeks Ted had developed an obsession with Chris, even taking it as far as to follow him around the building just to crack jokes. Chris was starting to suspect there was something wrong with Ted. He had tried almost everything to stop Ted's harassment: ignoring it, killing Ted with kindness, (his current tactic) and even talking to some of Ted's close friends.

"I really don't care what you do with other guys-that's your business," John had said when Chris asked him about it, "but Ted doesn't like it, and he likes to make fun of things he doesn't like. Besides, Ted always gets what he wants..."

Nothing he tried so far had worked; what he really wanted to do was talk to Ted one on one. He had tried on a few occasions to get the younger man alone for a talk, but somehow he always seemed to have someone around him.

Chris glanced back at Ted, he and his gaggle were still watching Chris and laughing. Ted talked animatedly, no doubt telling whatever gay joke he had found on the internet the night before. Ted blew Chris a mocking kiss and waved. Chris shook his head- there was definitely something wrong with that kid.

Ted peeked his head into yet another room. "Damn!" He slammed the door and continued his search.

"Ted, what exactly are we looking for?" Cody asked. They had been walking up and down hallways in the arena for around 10 minutes.

"I bet I know what he's looking for," John snickered. He leaned in and whispered something in Miz's ear. They both laughed.

"What?" Ted asked paranoid. "What did he just say?" Miz smiled knowingly. "Tell, me," Ted commanded. "Tell me or I swear…"

Miz chuckled, "He said we're looking for your boyfriend Chris."

"That's not even funny, I am not gay," Ted sounded angry, both John and Miz took the hint to stop laughing.

"Teddy," Cody started, he was Ted's closest friend in the bunch, "this little thing with Chris is kind of weird. I mean, you spend all your time either looking for him, looking _at_ him, or talking about him."

"So?" Ted snapped. "He's an abomination against God; I think it's quite appropriate if I show you guys how wrong homosexuality is." Ted always used leading his friends in the right direction as his excuse for harassing Chris.

"Ok, Ted we didn't mean anything, we were just kidding, so calm down, ok?" Cody backed off and followed Ted silently, a defeated look on his face. They all knew better than to get Ted started on the god and homosexuality subject he was so passionate about.

Ted tried another door; he peeked around the corner and saw Chris sitting on a chair quietly by himself listening to his iPod. Ted stood up straight and strolled into the room, his gaggle trailing behind like ducklings after a mother duck.

"So yeah guys like I was saying, she was a perfect ten." Ted started, he glanced at Jericho just in time to see him remove one of his headphones to hear what the invasion on his peace was about this time. It wasn't the first time that week Ted had found him in a (what he thought was hidden) room alone meditating on the music on his iPod. "So I took her home and she was just like 'oh my god Ted I _need_ you' so she just like, rips of the dress she has on, and I mean this was at least a $3000 dress so I figure- hey, I can't deny her."

Ted's friends looked at him confused, not quite sure what they were supposed to do, finally Cody piped in. "Then what Ted? We want details man."

"Alright if you insist. So I take her and I start like going down on her. Sweet pussy too, by the way..." Ted smirked.

"Oh, yeah!" John and The Miz high fived Ted.

Ted glanced at Chris who had put his headphones back in his ears and was ignoring Ted's childish antics. "But gay boy over here wouldn't know anything about that would he?" Ted's smile fell as he stepped toward Jericho. "I'm talking to you homo!" Ted pulled one of Jericho's headphones from his ears.

"What Ted?" Chris tried to keep his cool- he preferred not to stoop to Ted's childish level.

"I was telling you a story," Ted smiled again, glad to have the rest of his audience back.

"About?" Jericho asked, an extremely bored expression on his face.

"I'll start where I left off. So I'm sitting at the hotel with this chick: she's like perfect, perfect round double D's, small waist, and just enough ass, and I'm eating her out and she's like 'Oh Teddy let me return the favor!' So I-..."

"Ugh, kid, no offense but I have much better things to do than to listen to your stories about your immature one night stands." Chris stood up to leave the room.

Ted's gaggle snickered and oohed behind him. Ted's face blushed, "I'm not a kid! Sit down," Ted pushed Chris back down into the chair, "I wasn't finished!"

"Never touch me again," Chris pushed Ted back and stood leaving the room. Ted stared after him, his ego fazed.

"Ted, no offense but he just punked you out," John laughed placing a hand on Ted's shoulder.

"He didn't punk me out, I-I just didn't think it would be right to punch a homo, I mean they are like, basically girls right?" Ted shrugged John's hand off embarrassed; he needed to seem tough in order to stay in control of his gaggle.

"Ok, Ted you just keep telling yourself that," The Miz chimed in.

Ted gathered his composure, "I'm hungry, anyone else want to go grab a bite to eat?"

"The third man said, 'My David was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time!'" Ted told another joke-he was on roll. Since Ted's little altercation with Chris he had really been laying on the gay jokes.

His gaggle laughed, they had also changed a little since the encounter with Chris. They still saw Ted as their leader but his leash he had on them had loosened. He no longer had the effect of dominance on them like he once had.

They rounded a corner and found Chris talking on his cell phone animatedly. Ted stopped laughing.

"Aww, what's wrong Ted?" The Miz asked. "You afraid, the big scary gay man's going to get you?"

John chuckled, "Come on Mike lay off him, you might make him cry like big bad Chris did!"

"I didn't cry!" Ted snapped, his temper rising. "And I sure as hell am not afraid of him."

Cody suppressed his laughter, "Whoa, simmer down there Teddy! They weren't serious. Besides you don't want to get too loud- Chris might hear you and come beat you up again." The whole gaggle erupted into laughter.

Ted's face blushed dark red, "Fuck that." He pushed Cody hard into a wall and stalked up behind Chris. He tapped Chris politely on the shoulder.

Jericho turned around and saw who it was interrupting his conversation. "...Of course. Hey Rich I have to go- call you back later." Chris snapped his phone shut. "What?" He was tired of even trying to act a little nice to Ted; it clearly wasn't working, and wouldn't be working anytime in the foreseeable future.

"Oh sorry, Chris! Was that your butt buddy?" Ted smiled and looked at his gaggle for reassurance- they smiled at him halfheartedly. "I didn't mean to interrupt any gay phone sex."

"Dude, is that all you wanted?" Chris was slightly annoyed.

"No, I just thought you should know Cody doesn't appreciate your advances towards him." Ted grinned back at his gaggle- John and The Miz snickered at Ted's carefully aimed joke.

"Is that all Ted?"

"'_Is that all Ted?_' God, you are so _gay_ Chris!" Ted mocked.

"No shit Sherlock," Chris was finally fed up with it. "I am gay, get over it! Why are you so obsessed with me anyway?"

"I'm not obsessed with you," Ted said aggravated.

"Yeah you are!" Chris responded. "You follow me, your friends have even told me all you do is talk about me!" Ted shot his gaggle an angry look- they would pay for this later. "Dude you're like a school girl with some crazy crush."

"_I'm not gay_!" Ted clenched his fist, he was so angry he had begun to shake.

"Then why are you so obsessed with another guy? And-" Chris stopped mid sentence. "And why are you so angry right now?"

"I'm not fucking gay!" Ted exploded: he slammed his fist into the side of Chris' face making a loud thumping sound and knocking Jericho onto the floor. Ted gasped and took a step back, shocked at himself.

"Dude that was so not cool," Cody said.

"I know, I know. I-I didn't mean to, I-" Ted backed away from Chris.

Chris sat up clutching the side of his face, "You asshole! What the fuck?"

"I-I…" Ted had now put a room's length between himself and Chris. He was safely tucked behind his gaggle.

"Come here," Chris commanded.

Ted stayed put behind his gaggle. "Ted I think you should go see what he wants or at least apologize to him." Cody tried to pull Ted out from behind them.

"But-but he'll hit me!" Ted said, resisting Cody.

"Come here, _now_!" Chris called still holding his face.

Ted slowly stepped back towards Chris, "Yeah?"

"Come over here," Chris said the anger clear in his voice.

"...This is getting awkward," John whispered to the rest of the gaggle. "I think we should go." The Miz and Cody agreed and followed John out of the room leaving Ted and Chris alone.

Ted took a few more steps toward Chris, "What?"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Chris asked.

"Well you were calling me gay and-" Ted began, he felt guilty about hitting Chris.

"No, I mean overall, what's your problem?" Chris stood up, his face beginning to bruise where Ted's fist had connected.

"I don't know it's just wrong."

"...Is my face bruised?" Chris asked.

"A little," Ted looked down at the floor.

"I swear to god I'm going to-" Chris began his anger flaring up again.

"Do it!" Ted said his own temper seemingly flaring up. "Just fucking do it! Hit me! Just kick my ass!"

"Why?" Chris backed off a little, suprised at Ted.

"I'd feel better," Ted rubbed his eye, trying to be nonchalant about it.

"Are you crying?" Chris asked, his anger dissolving a little more.

"No!" Ted snapped, turning away from Chris.

"Are you crying because I'm going to hit you?" Chris pried some more.

"NO!" Ted shouted, he didn't want _anyone _thinking of him as a pansy.

"Are you crying because I'm mad at you?" Chris' lip twitched- he almost smiled.

"I don't care what you think," Ted turned back towards the older man. "Are you going to hit me or not?"

"You do care what I think!" Chris exclaimed in a sing-songy voice, he was sure he was right now. He took a few steps closer to Ted. "Cause you like me! A lot!"

"I'm not gay," Ted said halfheartedly.

"Yeah you are! Or bi or something!" Chris exclaimed. "It's ok Ted! I can help you."

"But, I-I can't be gay i-it's just s-so wrong!" Ted said, he let a few tears escape his eyes before wiping them away with the back of his hand.

"No, Ted it's ok. I promise it's alright." Chris tried to keep a straight face- he had known it all along.

Ted finally collapsed into Chris. Chris wrapped his arms around the younger man, "I'm gay."

"Yes, I know," said Jericho.

"And you're gay," Ted commented.

"Yes, I know."

They stood in silence a moment, Ted wrapped in Chris' embrace. Ted lifted his head off Chris' shoulder and looked him in the eye, "And I like you."

"Yes, I know," said Jericho. He pushed his lips softly against Ted's. "I like you too."

Ted moaned as Chris pulled away, "Chris can we go somewhere?"

"What do you mean?" Chris asked.

"Like somewhere private we can talk and stuff, without being disturbed."

"Yeah, the hotel's just a couple of blocks over."

Ted slammed Chris back onto the bed hard and pushed his tongue back into Chris' mouth. They hadn't done much talking at all since they'd gotten to the hotel. As soon as they were through the door Ted had jumped on Chris like a lion on a slab of meat. Chris was surprised, he had never been with a virgin before, but he was sure he hadn't been like this on _his_ first time. Ted had always been a bit of a control freak, but Chris had thought he might take a break and let someone else be in control for once. Chris thought wrong.

Ted ripped open Chris' shirt, pulling the buttons right off of it.

"You sure...you...don't want to...slow down...a little?" Chris asked between rough kisses.

Ted sat up, still straddled over the older man, a confused look on his face, "Why would I slow down?"

"Well I mean it's your first time and you want to savor it right?" Chris asked thankful for the short break so he could catch his breath.

"No," Ted practically growled, "I want you to screw me now."

"But what about-" Chris was cut off by another barrage of passionate kisses.

Ted pulled his own shirt over his head, then began massaging and pinching Chris' nipples. He moved his kisses down to Chris' body, moving lower until he came to the top of Chris' pants. "Take them off," Ted instructed as he dismounted Chris and began fiddling with his own belt. Jericho shot him an astonished look. "Please?" Ted added.

Chris did as was instructed, he pulled down his pants and boxers to reveal his extremely excited member. There was something very attractive about Ted acting this way towards him despite the fact Chris had had his hopes set on having sex with a clueless virgin.

Ted licked his lips as he watched Chris and released his own erect penis. "Now what?" Ted asked.

Chris laughed, "Sorry, I figured you knew what you were doing."

"I told you it's my first time, I wasn't gay before."

"Right, ok, well how about a blowjob?" Chris smiled.

"Ok," Ted shifted to the edge of the bed giving Chris easy access to his member.

"Well, I meant me...but ok."

Chris got on his knees in front of the younger man. He wrapped his hand around the base of Ted's member and licked the tip. Ted moaned; he could already tell it was going to be the best blowjob he had ever gotten. Chris wrapped his lips around the tip of Ted's member teasing it with his tongue. Ted finally put his hand on the back of Chris's head and pushed him lower on his member.

Chris looked up at Ted while keeping his lips around the younger man's member. He bobbed his head up and down on Ted's member making him groan until Chris thought he was going to pop. Chris pulled his head up off Ted despite Ted's ever present push.

"My, turn?" Ted asked. Chris nodded and sat up on the bed.

Ted dropped to his knees in front of Chris. He quickly took Chris' member into his mouth, deep throating it immediately. Chris let out a shocked moan, yet another thing he hadn't expected from virgin boy. Ted moved his head up and down, allowing Chris' member to slam into the back of his throat repeatedly.

Ted pulled his head off Chris and smiled up at him, "Am I good?" He asked.

"Perfect," Chris breathed.

"Good," Ted said, he layed on his back next to Chris. "So are we going to do this?"

Chris jumped up, he reached to his nightstand for the lube he always had there (just in case). "You want me to do you like that?" Chris asked, he realized Ted was in the missionary position, not the position he expected virgins to want to use.

Ted nodded, "I want to be able to see you while we do it."

Chris shrugged, "Ok." Chris poured a little lube onto his fingers and spread it out over his cock. He slowly inserted a finger into Ted's hole making Ted moan.

"Come on Chris, I want your cock inside me _now_." Ted commanded.

"I don't want to hurt you though and-" Chris began.

"I don't care! I want it now," he begged.

Chris nodded, climbing between Ted's legs, and began prodding Ted's hole, taking his time. Even if Ted didn't want to savor the moment, he did. Ted groaned as Chris slipped himself into Ted's tight hole.

"Wow, you're tight." Chris grunted as he pushed farther into Ted. Ted moaned in response. Chris began slowly thrusting in and out of Ted afraid of hurting him due to lack of preparation.

"Fuck me, Chris," Ted moaned.

"...I am," Chris responded.

"Harder, I mean faster, I mean fuck me like a man!" Ted grunted. Chris did as he was told and gradually quickened his pace going deeper into the younger man. Ted moaned louder as Chris now repeatedly struck his sweet spot. "Cum inside me," Ted instructed. Chris thrust into Ted one last time releasing a deep animalistic growl as he came inside Ted. Ted moaned one last time as he came.

Chris rolled off Ted, "Oh my god."

"Yeah," Ted agreed worn out. "That was amazing...Even better than Cody."

"What?" Chris asked, sitting up. "What do you mean better than Cody?"

"Nothing I-I mean l-like umm…" Ted scrambled for an excuse.

"You weren't a virgin were you?" Chris asked, putting the pieces together.

"Well I mean-" Chris cut Ted off.

"You've known you were gay this whole time. You fucked Cody, then you came up with a plan to act like a homophobe to get me in bed with the sympathy card." Chris said as more of a statement than a question.

"Not exactly," Admitted Ted, "I fucked Cena...then Randy..._then_ Cody."

The two sat in an awkward silence for a minute.

"You want to go again?" asked Chris.

Ted sighed in relief. "I'm topping this time!"

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_A/n from Kirbey: I love Jeriase! And Ted didn't even get drunk in this one! You bettter review thirsty tricks! :)_

**A/n from Jessica: EDIT: ok so kirbey deleted this b/c we had a little slap happy 2 am fight. but im putting it back up. read if you haven't yet!**


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